Self-Abandonment

I do not claim to be an expert on DEPRESSION nor a victim of its tantalizing grip. But I have seen DEPRESSION; I met her four years ago, one night in the month of March. It was a few days after the dry Winter of Florida, and Spring was just around the corner. I had just returned from my afternoon class, and it was well after 8 pm.

I stopped by my next door neighbor to see how she was doing. Usually, she would sit outside on the porch and we would talk for a few minutes before I make my way to my own apartment. However, that night which was not quite Spring, she was already inside and invited me in when she heard my knocking.

That was when I came face to face with DEPRESSION: her eyes were red and puffy from weeping. She held her hands, finger to finger, and despite it not being too cold, she was trembling like leaves. She seemed so small and fragile and just downright frightened.

I couldn’t believe my eyes nor my ears as DEPRESSION  sat there and recounted to me how she has been living with this kind-hearted woman–my neighbor–for the past 26 years if not longer. She said that it started when she was still a teenage girl and her mother passed away after years of sickness and other mental illness. Then she lost her first husband after giving birth to their baby girl. Not long after that, her father passed away and subsequently her fiancé died. She said, “He [The fiancé] was the moon of my midnight sky. And when he suddenly died of a heart attack, my whole world plunged into complete darkness.”

I was all ears; I offered my sympathy, my prayers. She was so happy to see me because she said, “I was at my wit’s end. I didn’t know who to call…”

I want to emphasize once more that I am not claiming to know anything about DEPRESSION but it is my humble belief that DEPRESSION  stems from abandonment of the Self; yes, abandoning the Self in the past, at a place, and a time which exist no longer. The present Self either keeps visiting that same place over and over or it just abandons Itself there.

When this happens, the present Self cannot properly deal with the day-to-day of life. Something always seems to be lacking. DEPRESSION neglects the Self, thinking that this present Self is not deserving of life or of anything which brings joy and pleasure, sometimes even blaming the present Self for the things that took place in the past.

DEPRESSION  has a low-level of Self love; believing that everyone deserves to be loved, to be cherished, to be needed and wanted, except for her. DEPRESSION believes that any bad thing that happens to her is well deserved…

…but it is not so. You cannot abandon Yourself in the past while living in the present. It’s not even living if you’re stuck somewhere in the forgotten and distant past.

Living with DEPRESSION (as I came to find out from my neighbor that night) is no simple matter, and should not be taken lightly.

You have to be strict with DEPRESSION  and cast her out far from you. It is not an easy fight but it can be WON!

Reclaim Yourself from the past, come back to the present where a life full of joy and hope and love awaits YOU.

 

P.S. If you know someone living with depression, be a listening ear. Sometimes, that is all that is needed.