A Kind of Love

There is a kind of love that the ancients used to love with:

It was fierce, strong, very powerful.

The ancients loved freely, lovingly.

They gave love ALL that they’ve got.

This is the kind of love my grandparents loved with.

I’ve seen my grandmother loving

Each one of her children with this kind of love.

It is this kind of love that I want to love with:

It is free, it is kind, it is fierce.

I want to give love ALL that I’ve got.

I want to be loved with this kind of love.

Will you love with this kind of love?


A very wise woman once told me, “Love is epidemic, but hatred is isolationist! It takes a special heart to give love unconditionally, and an evil heart to invest time in delusions, chaos and atrocities.”

There is a kind of love that you must thrive to love with. The kind of love that is ready to put it ALL on the line, to forsake anything that does not call itself love, and to pursue love as the ONLY thing that truly matters. You have to give love all that you’ve got.

This kind of love seems archaic now, but it needs a great awakening. The times are dire. There are hearts out there that are breaking, and falling apart piece by piece with no one to put them back together. Those hearts are crying out, “I am weak, I have no strength to call my own!”

Will you hear these broken hearts out? Will you love them with the ancient kind of love? Will you make the final decision to give love all that you’ve got?

I have given love all that I’ve got, all that is in me, and so much more. I have so much love to give, much more than I expect in return. I made a covenant with my heart to love with all of me and nothing less.

I will leave you with these encouraging words from a dearest friend, “Pick your heart up and trust that God will send someone who will permanently glue your heart back together.”

Giving Love a Chance

You are being too hard on yourself, you are being too hard on love. Will you give love a chance? Sometimes, we are quick to say, “I am done with love; love has hurt me, love has deceived me, love has failed me…”

But that is NOT so. Love has never hurt anyone; people hurt people, but not so with love. Don’t give up on love because of the hardness of people’s hearts; don’t blame love for people’s callousness.

At the end of it all, you have to WANT what you NEED; and love is what you need, what we all need.

The late doctor Martin Luther King, Jr. said it perfectly, “I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.”

The good news is when you have love, it is not yours alone; but hatred is heavy and it’s rarely shared…

So, go ahead and forgive yourself if you have given up on love. Love has always been there, all along, all for you. You just have to be opened for love, be opened to love.

Being Single

Sometimes you just want to be touched by another human being. You just want to be held, to be told that you matter; not that you don’t know it already, but because you want to hear the echo.

Sometimes you wonder, “Where’s my happily ever after? Has God forgotten about me”?

We are social creatures, we were not meant to live isolated lives. It is totally normal and natural and acceptable to feel the need to be in the company of others, or with someone dear to our hearts. These sentiments must not be frown upon because they are innate.

In Genesis 2:18, we read, “And the LORD God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make an help meet for him’” (Genesis 2:18 KJV).

So there you have it, God puts it in our hearts to feel the need to be loved, to be longed for, to feel wanted…

So, what better person is there to ask for your ‘happily-ever-after’ than the One who implanted this desire in you, even before you were born?

And don’t think it’s just an adult thing to feel the need to be in relationships; it’s an every living creature thing; man and beast, even plants if you care to go that far.

So, next time you’re feeling down because of your single life, remember that you are not truly alone and that the person that God has for you will be for you no matter what life throws at you. It is okay to feel down some days, just don’t stay down there…Get up, show up, show out, and ask God for strength to wait for what you deserve.

Little Outbursts of Joy

If you’ve ever spent time with young children, you probably notice how they’re always happy, always laughing, and giggling, and playing. It’s like they have a storage of unending joy, never run out.

They don’t yet have the verbal skills to explain to you the secret to their permanent happiness, but if they did, they would probably divulge to you that they deduce their happiness from the little things in life.

It’s always the little things: a gesture–funny, kind, cute, goofy–a grimacing look; a simple laugh. Kids find little outbursts of joy in those little things.

Will you do the same? That’s the difference between children and adults; we take life too seriously; we laugh little, we worry too much. Why don’t we revert to the way we were always meant to be? Laugh about the little things, cry for what matters to us, pray for what we cannot change; the things we have no control over.

Happiness is an accumulation of little outbursts of joy. Laugh at yourself, laugh at a joke not just when it’s funny but because you can. Protect your joy, go to extreme measure to protect yourself because people will go to extreme measure to hurt you, life will go to extreme measure to steal your joy; but you mustn’t let it.

Happiness is the gift that you give to yourself, joy is a given. Cultivate happiness in your life. Be able to say, “I come from a very rich background: I am rich in happiness, rich in kindness, rich in knowledge and wisdom and understanding, rich in generosity, rich in love.”


I do not claim to be an expert on DEPRESSION nor a victim of its tantalizing grip. But I have seen DEPRESSION; I met her four years ago, one night in the month of March. It was a few days after the dry Winter of Florida, and Spring was just around the corner. I had just returned from my afternoon class, and it was well after 8 pm.

I stopped by my next door neighbor to see how she was doing. Usually, she would sit outside on the porch and we would talk for a few minutes before I make my way to my own apartment. However, that night which was not quite Spring, she was already inside and invited me in when she heard my knocking.

That was when I came face to face with DEPRESSION: her eyes were red and puffy from weeping. She held her hands, finger to finger, and despite it not being too cold, she was trembling like leaves. She seemed so small and fragile and just downright frightened.

I couldn’t believe my eyes nor my ears as DEPRESSION  sat there and recounted to me how she has been living with this kind-hearted woman–my neighbor–for the past 26 years if not longer. She said that it started when she was still a teenage girl and her mother passed away after years of sickness and other mental illness. Then she lost her first husband after giving birth to their baby girl. Not long after that, her father passed away and subsequently her fiancé died. She said, “He [The fiancé] was the moon of my midnight sky. And when he suddenly died of a heart attack, my whole world plunged into complete darkness.”

I was all ears; I offered my sympathy, my prayers. She was so happy to see me because she said, “I was at my wit’s end. I didn’t know who to call…”

I want to emphasize once more that I am not claiming to know anything about DEPRESSION but it is my humble belief that DEPRESSION  stems from abandonment of the Self; yes, abandoning the Self in the past, at a place, and a time which exist no longer. The present Self either keeps visiting that same place over and over or it just abandons Itself there.

When this happens, the present Self cannot properly deal with the day-to-day of life. Something always seems to be lacking. DEPRESSION neglects the Self, thinking that this present Self is not deserving of life or of anything which brings joy and pleasure, sometimes even blaming the present Self for the things that took place in the past.

DEPRESSION  has a low-level of Self love; believing that everyone deserves to be loved, to be cherished, to be needed and wanted, except for her. DEPRESSION believes that any bad thing that happens to her is well deserved…

…but it is not so. You cannot abandon Yourself in the past while living in the present. It’s not even living if you’re stuck somewhere in the forgotten and distant past.

Living with DEPRESSION (as I came to find out from my neighbor that night) is no simple matter, and should not be taken lightly.

You have to be strict with DEPRESSION  and cast her out far from you. It is not an easy fight but it can be WON!

Reclaim Yourself from the past, come back to the present where a life full of joy and hope and love awaits YOU.


P.S. If you know someone living with depression, be a listening ear. Sometimes, that is all that is needed.


It is so easy to undress yourself before someone you have come to know intimately. So simple to just bare IT ALL, even before a stranger; I know because I did it in boot camp before lots of strange women. After having done that a couple more times, the process became easier and more natural.

How easy is that!

…but can you handle true NAKEDNESS? Do you have the stamina to confide in another soul? To let someone else witness all of your fears, all of your hurts, all of your dreams, all of your past, all of your faults and shortcomings and mistakes, all of the different combinations that make you you, UNIQUE…?

Do you have the courage to let them in and see all of your loves, all of your rage, all of your scars, all of you…?

It’s not so easy now, is it?

In life, you will undoubtedly be naked many times, before a few small numbers of people perhaps, but ONLY a selected few, if even that, will witness your being TRULY NAKED.

It is not easy to let someone see you in all of your elements, to let them in your heart, in your life after so many collateral damages have been done.

After that, it is much easier, I’ll admit, to just lock your heart in a prison cell and throw away the key in the Atlantic Ocean…

It is not easy to cover yourself and uncover yourself before someone else after your true NAKEDNESS has been exposed and violated and trampled upon, after a solemn promise has been broken, a trust has been shattered to pieces…

So no, it is NOT an easy matter at all to be truly naked one time too many.

I know and I understand that.

Yet, you will have to find the strength, the willpower to do it again: to be genuine, to be kind, to be right, to be true, to be YOU…to ONE MORE PERSON.

Don’t lock away your heart simply because it has been fragmented; use it and take your mind with you wherever you decide to take your heart…

Life on a Track Field

You have to go through life with the vision that it’s a TRACK FIELD: each one of us on a lane with a different starting point. You cannot look at what the person on your right is doing and thinking you ought to be doing the same thing. NO. Nor can you focus at the person behind you and thinking that you’re faster than him or her. NO. And you definitely cannot consider the person ahead of you as being faster than you. NO. You have to stay in your own lane and pay attention to your own speed. For if your eyes are wandering left and right, up and down, this will slow you down.

Think about the last time you were at a track meet or maybe you were watching it from home. Do you recall how focused the runners were? Did you notice that as they were running, their gaze were straight ahead?

Runners know that the only thing that matters at this moment in time is the goal that they set for themselves.

Think about the goals that you have for your life. You are on a TRACK FIELD along with many other runners with goals quite different from your own. If you focus your energy on anyone else’s goals, you’ll always come up short, you’ll always feel as if you are not working hard enough, or you’re not enough. NO. Focus on your goals and the speed at which you are running after them.

If you keep focusing on that coworker who got the promotion that you wanted, or that friend who get the job that you applied for you might lose speed. Keep on running in your OWN lane, and you will eventually get to your OWN FINISH LINE.

Did your best friend get married before you did? Stay in your lane. Did your neighbor just bought the new Lexus that you dreamed of? Focus on your speed. Did your sister buy the new house that you couldn’t get approved for? Stay in your OWN lane.

The moment that your eyes start wandering into other people’s lanes (lives), you start losing focus of the race that you are running.

The TRACK FIELD of life has multiple finish lines–unlike the track field that can be physically seen. That’s why you cannot afford to lose focus while running because you might just step foot on someone’s else’s lane and so miss your FINISH LINE.

Don’t worry about others reaching their finish lines before you; you have your OWN personal FINISH LINE and NO ONE will get in FIRST place other than YOU.


So, run at your own pace, and stay in your lane.

Remember that just because someone is ahead of you does not necessarily mean that he or she is running faster than you– (This is something that I learn in driving–the car ahead of you is not always driving faster than you). We all have our OWN personal FINISH LINES on the TRACK FIELD called LIFE. Maybe yours is just a little bit further…

LOVE Matters


We all have hopes and dreams and goals that we wish and thrive to accomplish. We wake up early in the morning, we stay up late at night, all in an effort to do better, be better than we did, we were yesterday. Sometimes we dubb ourselves with various self-congratulatory words and phrases: “I’m an overachiever, I work hard, I’m a go-getter, I’m the best at what I do, etcetera”…But have you thought for one moment  that maybe there’s more out there: more to do, more to be? Is life really all about our daily routines and aiming for the zenith? What about LOVE? What if we could say: “I’m an over-lover, I LOVE hard, I’m a love-getter, I’m the best at loving, etcetera”…LOVE is really all that Matters. This is the only thing that we are truly required to share with others. We don’t have to sound the trumpet when it comes to expressing our LOVE for others because LOVE is actually deaf.

However, if we take the time to show others (by our actions) that we LOVE them, then they will know that we truly LOVE them. Parents, especially need to show unconditional LOVE to their children. As parents, you are the first line of defense; you are all that your child will ever know about LOVE: You are LOVE PERSONIFIED in your child’s eyes. Therefore, it is imperative that you not only tell your children that you LOVE them, but more importantly this LOVE needs to be expressed in actions. LOVE Matters in the home so much more than outside the home.

There is so much hatred out there and so little love. Will you take a stand for LOVE? Will you LOVE even if loving is slowly going out of style? Really, in the end ONLY LOVE MATTERS: the love you receive and the one you give away. One day we will all stand before our Creator, and we will have to answer to Him when He asks us, “What did you do with LOVE: the one that you received and the one that you DID NOT give away”? We cannot afford to be so preoccupied with life that we put LOVE on the back burner. LOVE MATTERS. Every night, before you head to bed, ask yourself this simple question: “Have I LOVE today?” If the answer is “No”, you have tomorrow, a second chance to LOVE.

On Purpose

We have to start living on purpose. It’s high time that we do things on purpose; I mean those phenomena that will benefit us and our loved ones. For instance, be happy ON PURPOSE because believe it or not there are people out there who will on purpose make you mad or sad. Therefore, you have to PURPOSELY  be happy. Instead of focusing all your energy on how that person hurt you and how you can pay him or her back, use that energy to create your own happiness. And when you are happy, other people around you will catch the same breeze.

Next, love ON PURPOSE. Make it your business to love no matter what; the world has enough hatred already. When someone tries to hurt you to the core, choose love. That doesn’t mean you will let people walk all over you; it simply means that you will love that person because it can only help you. Choose love because you can and because you are strong; not because love is the most important thing but because it is in fact the ONLY thing. Love yourself ON PURPOSE. This means that you have to start being kind to yourself, be true and honest to your own self; love yourself enough to know how to genuinely love others. It is simply a fable to try to love other people while you don’t even love yourself.

Another thing that we need to capitalize on is doing good for ourselves and for others; and that we must do ON PURPOSE. Go out sometimes, find people to lend a hand to, be good to them ON PURPOSE knowing that it will benefit you a whole lot more than your mind can comprehend. The caveat is this, don’t expect the same people to return the favor; in fact don’t expect anything at all because that will defeat the purpose. Do good because it feels good, because it feels right, you feel whole, you feel human, it makes you happy.

Lastly, we have to forgive ourselves and others ON PURPOSE because that will be our HAPPINESS. Forgive yourself, don’t be so hard yourself. Forgive other people because you never know what they are going through.  Forgive because it will make your stay here easier; with less load to carry, your journey will be more bearable.

Many a times, we do good deeds by accident, and we do the wrong thing on purpose. Why not try doing the right things ON PURPOSE for a change? Why not be happy ON PURPOSE, love ON PURPOSE, doing good ON PURPOSE, forgive ourselves and others ON PURPOSE? In the end, this can only help us.